Table of Contents

All lyrics, text, and images are the property of and protected by copyright law, unless otherwise noted on the credits and thanks area of this site.

Song titles in Italics are recommended as a starting point for people that are not in the Health Care business.   identifies updates as of 02/18/07.

  1. - Our Sister Site - Our Other Sister Site
    RTlyrics: Chapter 1 - Our First CD
    RTlyrics: One.Five - Our Latest CD

    Christmas Song Parodies
  2. In-services 
  3. Just for Fun
  4. Original Songs new
    Contributions from Coworkers 
  5. The End
  6. Media  

Christmas Song Parodies

The Sputum Song - Our most popular parody song. We consider the tag line to be the anthem of all Respiratory Care Practitioners.

Jerry From Respiratory - A tribute to one of our co-workers, a man that died at the age of 43 from oat cell CA. He never smoked a day in his life.

The Breathing Treatment Ploy - A different type of tribute, to one of our regulars that had an unfortunate aversion to soap and water.

The 12 Hours Of Christmas - When we presented this one, we went around the hospital and got different people to sing a part. We played the tape and had people guess who it was. Among those that participated were our medical director, the chief cardiologist, and the president of the health system.

I Don't Hear What They Hear - Dedicated with love and respect to all the
hard workers in Emergency Rooms across the country.

Seven O'Clock - Tells the frustrations of having to work on Christmas Day.  

The 12 Hours Of Christmas (Part II) - This is the version we recorded for the CD, 91.666% different from the original.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas - A description of how a hospital is during the holiday season.

Inspectors Are Coming To Town - If you work in any type of health care setting, inspections are inevitable.

The 12 Days Of Christmas - Describes what some people believe is the "true meaning" of the popular Christmas song.

Sputum Balls (#1) - Done to the tune of Jingle Bells.

Sputum Balls (#2) - Done to the tune of Silver Bells.

The 12 Steps Of Rehab - The 12 steps of A.A. presented in a musical format.

Night Christmas - A persons lament about having to work on Christmas night.

Goo Christmas - A parody of Elvis' most famous Christmas tune.

The 12 Sons of Jacob - Translates the Hebrew name of each of Jacob's sons, the patriarchs of the 12 tribes of Israel.

IPPB - A love song to a seldom used treatment modality.

Here Come More New Laws - Describes the tendency of administrative staff to create or improve hospital policies.

The 12 Chinese New Years - Lets people know what the next dozen "Years Of" the Chinese New Years will be.

Fungus and Mold - Alerts people about these types of lung infections.

Suctioning The Bronchial Tree - Describes the joy of this important task.

The 12 Zodiac Signs - Informs the listener/reader what each sign is named.
For amusement purposes only.

I Won't Go I Won't Go I Won't Go- About a patient reluctant to leave the hospital.

Respiratory Land - A feel good song about a respiratory department in
Anytown, USA.

The 12 Minor Prophets - Highlights the final 12 books of the Old Testament.

Puh-Lease Stop The Butts - A Christmas time plea to Kick The Habit.

The 12 Labors Of Herc(ules) - The mythological Greek God’s most famous tasks.

Grandma’s All Ready To Go Away Dear - The title says it all.

The 12 Great Disciples - Names the 12 disciples of Jesus Christ.

It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year - Describes the holiday season in gooey detail.

A Visit From St. Nicholas - 2000 - Not a song, but our version of the Christmas poem that many people refer to as "The Night Before Christmas."

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Brown Sputum - For those of you that are singing along, the middle part of the song has been looped to accommodate the rainbow of colors presented.

MRSA - Our first in-service. Not our best effort, but we were still learning.

RSV - Not even show tunes are safe from our manipulations, although some would argue devastation is a more apt description.

Latex - We had 2 people develop latex allergies in 1999.

 Bronchodilitation - The chemistry and physiology of respiratory medications, in the style of The Red Hot Chili Peppers.

 With Mouth Wide Open - Hopefully, this provides an answer to one of the most frequently asked questions of any Respiratory Therapist.

Brrronchiolitis Obliterans Organizing - As far as we know, no one has ever done a parody to this song from Mary Poppins.

The 02 Masks- A halloween lecture about the different types of oxygen masks.

Breaking Up Tenacious Goo (Fast Version)
- Chest percussion described in the style of the 1960’s classic Neil Sedaka song.

Breaking Up Tenacious Goo (Slow Version) - Indications for Mucomyst, done up in the 1970’s version of the same song.

The Hypoxic Drive - This number parodies a song from Greg's favorite group, Queen.

SARS - A little ditty about Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome.

Watch Out for West Nile - Some information about the West Nile virus.

Chest Vibration - The Beach Boys serve as the backdrop to an alternative to chest percussion.

The Nose - Explains the purpose of this organ as it relates to breathing.

Washing Hands - Reminds everyone that works in health care about this important part of the job.

The Sounds of Breathing - A quick review of what respiratory therapists hear through their stethoscopes.

Croup and Epiglottitis - A quick lesson on these 2 childhood upper airway problems.

My Pneumonia - A tribute to that long forgotten group The Knack.

Cat Scratch Fever - A description of the real disease to the Ted Nugent song of the same name.

One More Spontaneous Pneumothorax - A story about a series of collapsed lungs.

Candida - A quick primer on Thrush.

Do CPR - As you follow the Alien Ant Farm version of Smooth Criminal, remember that Annie is the name of the CPR mannequin.

Bird Flu - A quick lesson on the avian flu.

Effusion - The Electric Light Orchestra helps explain fluid in the pleural cavity.

Bi-Level Case- This number makes a case for non-invasive positive pressure ventilation.

The Asthma Remedy - Our annual Halloween tribute discusses the use of inhaled steroids in asthma management.

CHF - A parody the first palindromic song by a palindromic group to hit the top 40 chart.

A Little Primer About Emphysema - Jan and Dean help inform the public about this common lung disease.

Asthma - No matter what the season, you should know how to battle this disease.

Clearing the Lungs Out - This parody of Werewolves of London serves as our annual Halloween number.

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Just for Fun

Doug Dague Is Retiring One of our therapists retired, moved to Florida, and went to work at Disney. We did this number at his retirement party.

If I Only Had My Brains - In our department, we refer to your personal assignment sheet as your brains. It's heck when you lose it.

Seven Days - This was written about a patient that would be in for a month, finally go home, and then come back in 5 or 6 days to stay another month.

Six O’ Clock - Just for the record, this song is not based on a true story.

The Numbers Show - The story of a person's angst and the possibility of having to take an unscheduled day off.

Sweet Sputum So Divine - A love song in honor of Valentine's Day!

Glad They Could Mend Your Broken Heart - Dave had to have a semi-emergent cardiac cath, where an inch long blockage in his right main coronary artery was resolved.  When he returned to work on February 14th, he was greeted with this song.

Breathe - A love song to our patients.

Won't Get Pulled Again - Dedicated to all our hard working friends in the Nursing Profession.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. - Written in celebration of Respiratory Care Week.

Second Hand Smoke - Smoking as seen through the eyes of a child.

Sir Muke - A tribute to one of Dave’s favorite entertainers, Stevie Wonder.

Killer - Tells of the anguish that some people experience while assigned to the midnight shift.

We Are R.C. - Written in celebration of Respiratory Care week.

Circle of Life - This number was presented to Charlie (our co-worker) and her husband Rob when they returned from Russia following the adoption of their daughter.

9 to 5 - This number was commissioned by the infection control department of our hospital for infection control week of 2003.

In The Unit - Tells a tale that can happen at any time in any hospital in the world.

Phlegmbusters - Continues our annual tribute to Halloween.

Respiratory Rhapsody - Written in celebration of Respiratory Care week.

There’s A Page - Chronicles the anxiety of an overworked therapist.

Call Me - Reminds people that Respiratory Therapists are only a page away.

Mucous and Phlegm - Our annual Halloween offering, to the tune of Spiders and Snakes.

That's What Friends Are For - Dedicated to our patients, in honor of Respiratory Care Week.

Flu Shot - What might happen if a person neglects to get the yearly flu vaccine.

Let's Say Goodbye to to Fred Corrion - This song was presented to RTlyrics contributor Fred Corrion as he left our department to take a position in Radiation Therapy.

My Gunk- A parody of The Black Eyed Peas most infamous song.

We Will Rock You/We are the Therapists - Written in celebration of Respiratory Care week.

Stop In The Name Of Love - A Supreme plea to give up smoking cigarettes.

I Want Some New Jugs - Inspired by a therapist in our department that underwent breast reduction surgery.

I Want Some New Jugs (Bigger) - Presents the alternate version to the above offering.

We're Here to Teach the World to Breathe - Written in honor of Respiratory Care week..

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Original Songs

HR Blues - Another tale of lost wages due to workload shortages.

Christmas Wrap - Note the funky way we spelled "Rap."

The Birth - Our version of Christmas Day Year Zero. Sung and played beautifully by Dave.

Head Toward The Light - A song about Greg's Father. Our first original composition.

When You Smoke - Written for youngsters to help them decide whether or not to pick up the habit.

Ralph the Elf - A story set long ago at the North Pole.

Time To Say Goodbye - The song that was presented to Dave upon his retirement from our hospital. Presented in mp3 format. 

We're Kid Snot - A Kid Rock like Opus. Presented in mp3 format. 

The Overtime Blues - The reciprocal of the H,R, Blues. Presented in mp3 format. 

Cancer - Written for a fellow co-worker after her 5 year anniversary from beating

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Contributions From Coworkers
Blowin’ In The Wind – Lyrics by Rich Weiler. Rich worked this one for a clean air talk he once gave.

Stuck On You- Contributed by Fred “Elvis” Corrion. (No Midi)

PEDS- A “typical” day on the pediatric unit as described by Shelly Stanfield.

Have A Holly Jolly Christmas- Compliments of our boss Rich, presented on Christmas of 2001.

Ten Patients Intubated - Compliments of Country Fred Corrion (No Midi)

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The End

Our Way - Our retirement song.

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Midland Daily News 11/18/2002 - This is the article that appeared in Greg's home town paper following the release of R.T. Lyrics: Chapter 1.

Associated Press Wire Story - The above story was picked up and went out over the A.P. wire on 11/19/2002.  The Saginaw News (Dave's home town paper) ran the story on 12/15/2002.

The Advance Saga - The trials and tribulations we went through when an article we submitted was published as a shadow of its former self.

24 x 7 BioMed Magazine - A reprint of a completely unsolicited article that appeared in a BioMed magazine in August of 2002.

Did I Go Too Far? - A series of E-Mail exchanges that took place between Greg and an inadvertent recipient of an RTlyrics newsletter.

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Snuffy The No-Smokasaurus - Downloadable coloring/story book encouraging youngsters not to smoke.

Kudos to Carole - Learn all about the boss we had P.T.R. (Prior to Rich)

Taking Flight - Inspirational Stories of Lung Transplantation- Read excerpts from this book, a collection of stories written by lung transplant recipients.

Meshugga G - A weekly cartoon by Jim Allen, takes on hospital life, as we know it.

About Dave

About Greg

What HR means

How This Web Site Came To Be

Sign our guest book - If you sign the guest book, we will alert you to any additions we make to the site.

The Guestbook Archives - The first 6 months of guestbook signatures on one easy to read page.

Credits And Thanks


Want In On The Fun? Our sister web site is now up and running. features songs that people have sent us after seeing our site, as well as some additional material from Greg. Feel free to send us something , and we will post it.

RTlyrics: Chapter 1- Our First CD

Final Words - Although we have stopped presenting songs at our department meetings, we are going to continue to write parodies as the mood strikes us. We plan to post new material on or about the first of every even month. So come back from time to time and check out our new stuff. Thank you again for visiting

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Copyright © 2001 All rights reserved.
02/18/08 Revised: 08/05/05.